Priceless Soul

I tried to make sense into my head that you are no longer here, that I would no longer hear your dear voice, that I'd no longer call your name anymore, that I could hug and feel your warmth each time I visit you, that I can't see your beautiful face again.

This time was much more serious than what other minor problems which previously, I would think they'd end my life. Having conflicts with your girlfriends, ending up a relationship with your boyfriend, failing your coursework or discontentment with your parent's overprotective grumbles wouldn't be anything at all if to compare with losing a great close aunt, whom I loved dearly all my life.

I sobbed the whole 5days during the chanting for ChengMummy before the funeral day last Sunday.

It was unbearable and something I've never or want to experience again! She was a multi-talented and born to be a great leader petite woman. Never to fail others but to excel in tasks that even men was not capable of. I've always admired her since young, for her dedication and passion in her work was tremendous! Although her work always kept her away from home, her love was always with the family..my grandparents and relatives. How can God take away such a exquisite and nice lady from us..

This has made me tougher, and softer at the same time. Prior to her death, all of my relatives gathered together for the very first time, in a peaceful manner. Those who never talks to another would now smile to one another. Somehow, I saw changes in each of us. Though as painful as our heart would be, we tried to put a smile on everyone's face. Cheng Mummy would be pleased too I supposed.

Apart from that, nothing much has taken place. Haven't felt any Cny-ish yet. Oh well..will be meeting the monkeys sooner then = ). HOliday has finally ended and I had my first class today. It wasn't too bad, was looking forward to it =) . Foo Soon picked me out last Monday, a day before he left back to Ukraine.

He really surprised me this time. Brought along those letters and poems and lil handmade cards and read some to me. They were really precious for I don't think I could have that patience to do all that to someone already! It has been 5long yrs and I got to recapture the moment we had back then. hrmm..something which I haven't been thinking of for sometime now. Thanks dear for keepin a lil piece of my heart with you all the while. NOt gonnna burn them =) I'll let u keep it.

Lastly, apologies to everyone out there who has been waiting for this long awaited overdue entry. Finally, I've kept myself stable on the ground before losing the strength to fall again.

Happy Chinese New Year to y'all!

p/s: it's time to keep in touch with every one of you again! Wei Leng,Tammie, Ss, Huan Sin, Ashley, Ming Wei & the monkeys, HighSchool friends and my dear cousins!!